I have said many times before that it is not necessarily the type of birth that makes it positive or negative but what we know, how we are treated and spoken to and how we feel.

Emily’s birth of her little boy did not eventually go to her original plan. However, she was prepared for every eventuality and she was calm and ready to embrace any changes in her birth path that occurred.

Sometimes our babies do not get themselves into a great position for birth and sometimes this will lead to a caesarean birth. This is still your birth though and can still be a joyous and positive experience. I think that you will enjoy this birth story, so over to Emily…

As an over 40 mum-to-be (I was 42 when Joseph was born), I was typically offered an induction at 40 weeks, but politely declined being booked in for one in the weeks leading up to my due date. I felt confident that my baby would be in charge of when he/she (as I didn't know the gender at that stage) would know when to arrive and didn't want intervention unless absolutely necessary.

I ended up going into spontaneous labour at just over 39 weeks in the middle of the night after having Braxton hicks for a few days. I barely slept and initially wrote off the early labour as Braxton Hicks, until I woke up at 8am and realised they were in a pattern. I called my mum (a retired midwife and midwife teacher) for reassurance and she said it sounded like I was in early labour. However, the contractions were fairly mild so I spent several hours sitting on my pilates ball, breathing through the surges and watching TV, just trying to relax.

In the mid-afternoon, I went to my mother's house as we had family visiting for Christmas. As soon as I arrived, the surges ramped up. However, I was still pretty relaxed and under the impression that it "could take days before the baby arrived" so was inviting my mum and cousin over to our house for a takeaway that evening - pretty hilarious looking back on it given how quickly things progressed. Needless to say the takeaway didn't happen. Instead I managed to eat a light, early supper (still at my mum's house), but by this point the surges were getting so intense I would have to stop speaking and was probably groaning through them.

By 8pm, the surges were really ramping up and my mother suggested it was time for me to go to hospital. Shortly before I left her house, my waters broke and it was a proper Hollywood gush. The ride to the hospital was pretty stressful and uncomfortable as I don't think surges and speed humps are a good combination!

As soon as we got to hospital, it was obvious I didn't need triage so was ushered straight into a labour room. Unfortunately the midwife-led suites weren't available due to Covid, which was disappointing, but I had been made aware of this prior to labour so had already come to terms with the fact. As soon as I arrived, I immediately accepted some gas and air, which I found a great comfort and really helped with the surges. I was thrilled to find out I was already 5cm dilated which was encouraging that I'd made some progress to meeting my baby already. My initial labour room didn't have a bath, so I transferred to another one as I was hoping to use water relief. However, by the time I got in the bath, I was disappointed the water didn't have the effect I was hoping for as I was too advanced. The gas and air also didn't reach the bath, so I didn't spent long in the water as didn't feel comfortable and returned to the gas and air by the bed. Despite having prepared a playlist and affirmation cards in my hospital bag, I really was too advanced and just 'in the zone' to need anything extra except the gas and air and my own thoughts. My midwife just sat back and kept an eye on me as I had stipulated in my birth plan (using the template you had given me), checking on me every now and again.

After 3-4 hours, the surges were getting really difficult to cope with and I was torn between trying to push through with the gas and air and breathing combination or asking for something stronger. The midwife and I talked about further pain relief options, but she said she would need to check how I was progressing first. At this point, she said I was fully dilated, but want to get some advice, so brought an obstetrician to check me out. They informed me my baby's head was stuck to the side and it was looking likely I would need an emergency c-section. They said they would try to get me to push and see if the obstetrician could get the baby out in theatre, but if not, the section would happen immediately. Despite my strong wish to not have a c-section throughout my pregnancy, when the medical staff told me on the day, I was completely relaxed and thought, "that's fine, this is how my baby is supposed to arrive", which I think was in huge part due to the course giving me the knowledge and confidence so I didn't fear it. Although my poor partner found the whole thing incredibly stressful and scary as we were rushed into theatre, I actually felt surprisingly calm as I trusted the medical staff and knew the end was in sight for the labour pain. My attempts at pushing were useless as by this point I had a spinal block and couldn't feel what I was supposed to push. Pretty soon, our 8.2lbs son arrived, and my partner got to tell me the gender as I had stipulated on my birth plan. I had skin-to-skin immediately and it was pretty surreal that he was finally here. We had an hour or so together in recovery where the midwife helped me breastfeed my son for the first time, before we were wheeled down to the postnatal ward, where we ended up spending 5 days as Joseph had jaundice.

Despite Joseph's arrival being very different to how I wished, I feel at peace with the way things went and have no regrets. The hypnobirthing course really helped me understand what was happening at various stages and how to work with the surges and not fight them. I used the MP3s in the run-up to my birth and they helped me feel calm and capable ahead of the birth, and also helped me sleep. I've been quite an anxious person in other elements of my life before, but I really surprised myself how calm and relaxed I felt during my pregnancy and subsequent labour.

Want to learn hypnobirthing with us?

Don’t forget that we have a full Online Antenatal Hypnobirthing Class that you can follow in your own time anywhere around the world. It is only £39/$49.
The Online Hypnobirthing Course

We also teach antenatal hypnobirthing classes in London in person with our One Day Group Hypnobirthing Class.
In-person Antental Hypnobirthing Group Class

If you’d rather prepare for your labour and birth solo with Melanie you can do so in the privacy of your own home in person if you live in London or via the Zoom platform wherever you are around the globe.
Private Antenatal Hypnobirthing Classes