PND
I wrote in another post a while ago that Post-Natal Depression was like a ‘fog sinking over you’, it blocks out the sky and you walk heavily underneath it.
Around 1 in 10 women will be affected by PND and so when I am teaching parents-to-be I always cover it.
Let’s understand the basics though. PND can arise fairly slowly or quickly. It can seemingly come out of the blue or may be affected by previously suffering with depression or anxiety. It affects both women and men.
It is a form of depression. Rather like me saying that I have Divorce Depression or Poverty Depression. It is as though the steel beams that hold up your house have been removed, and your house is now beginning to sag.
Like a house you will need support until the steel beams are ready to be replaced.
Some signs that you or someone you know might be depressed may include:
A persistent feeling of sadness and low mood.
A lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the wider world.
A lack of energy and feeling tired all the time (tricky one this with a newborn!)
Trouble sleeping at night, even when you are exhausted and feeling shattered during the day.
Problems bonding with your baby.
Avoiding other people, be they friends or family.
Problems concentrating and making decisions.
Frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting or losing your baby.
Now, many women do not realise they have postnatal depression, because it can develop gradually. Inch by inch, it is as though your own mind is slowly gas-lighting you to believe that you are not worthy, not safe and not a good mother.
The first port of call if this is happening to you, your partner or someone you know is to get an appointment with your GP (family doctor). No one can help you if they do not know that you need it.
Your doctor may offer you a talking therapy such as CBT and also may offer you antidepressants. Many women get concerned about being offered antidepressants for a multitude of reasons, however, these are merely there to bring your mood back to your usual level of operating so that you are able to look after you and your baby. After a period of time your prescription will be reduced and you will, when ready, stop taking them.
Do I believe that you can potentially future proof against PND?
Yes, in some ways I believe that you can. You can think now about how you have dealt with or been affected by major life changes in the past. Did you bounce back fairly swiftly? Or not? What did it take for you to roll with the changes?
Are you safe? Are you supported? If not what can you change before the birth to ensure that this is the case?
Have you had anxiety or depression in the past? This may mean you have a raised potential for PND, so it is worth chatting to your maternity team to discuss what extra support can be put in place for you.
Are you a black and white thinker? Or are you able to see the shades of grey in between?
We should all be looking after our mental health far, far better than we do. I recommend to anyone that I speak to or work with that our lives can be hugely improved by learning EFT Tapping, Meditation, Mindfulness, Self-Hypnosis. Regularly seeing a talking therapist - you CAN just go along to improve your day to day moods, you really don’t need to wait until something goes wrong.
Our mental health should be cared for as we care for our bodies, skin, teeth, nails…
After all, it’s what is going on in our heads that holds it all together really isn’t it?